They made me uncomfortable in my own home. Your words and actions made me hate coming to school. What was worse than losing you, was when you started to hurt me. My rainstorm was gone, and you became cruel. The hurt returned, and I felt sick when I saw you hating me. Then one day, out of the blue, I lost you, too. It was like the part of me that died with my mom came back when I met you, and I didn’t hurt if I knew I had you. You were the person that turned things right again. My world felt so insecure, and I was scared. She had cancer, and I lost her before I really knew her. Being your sidekick gave me a sense of home again. We played hide and seek, you’d push me on the swing, or we’d climb trees. We’d play all day, only coming back for food and sleep. I remember I’d shovel in my breakfast as fast as I could, so I could go knock on your door. You were a tempest in the sun, the thunder in a boring, cloudless sky. You made me giddy with expectation, just like a symphonic rainstorm. On sunny days, as a girl, I could still wake up to that thrilled feeling. I used to feel like a superhero, riding my bike over the dangerously slick roads, or maybe an Olympic athlete enduring rough trials to make it to the finish line. But it’s like this whole other realm of opportunity. Everything is more beautiful in the rain. When the clouds roll in, I get filled with this giddy expectation. Thunder torrential rain, puddles, wet shoes.
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